Seven Month Journal: The fluidity of life

Because I can’t just stay silent, or merely report the happenings on our environment, watching the world rapidly change when I could’ve done something proactive about it.  … So that’s why I’m now pursuing international, environmental policy communications. (A mouthful, I know.)

As I read these words now, reflecting on my first “seven month journal” in the process of crafting this month’s installment, I am overwhelmed by the power of intuition.

How could have seven-month-college Bethany have known that fourteen-month-college Bethany would submit a Bachelor of Specialized Studies curriculum, with the self-selected title of “International Environmental Policy & Communications”? How could she have known, after a summer internship at the Ohio EPA, a thought-provoking experience at SPJ’s Excellence in Journalism conference, and two semesters worth of classes, that she would return to almost the exact phrasing used in her monthly e-journal to describe her ultimate ambitions in her degree?

When I write these monthly updates – partly to distill the month’s happenings to my family and friends, partly to archive my experiences as an undergraduate in college – I don’t write with a plan. Sometimes, the theme of the installment hits me on the 14th or 15th day of the month, and I have to wait an agonizing 5 additional days before I pencil in my burning thoughts on the 20th.

But sometimes, it’s the everyday and ordinary, the events of one afternoon, that ultimately leave such an impression on me that I simply must write them down.

This week, I had one of those unexpected events happen – one in which I thank my lucky stars for humility, acceptance, and the fluidity in my life to be able change with the change.

After submitting an early draft of my B.S.S. curriculum, with concentrations in journalism, geography, and political science, on the first of February, I made peace with myself and accepted an internship at the University of California, Berkeley for this upcoming summer – totally happy in myself and in my decisions.

And then the unexpected happened, seven weeks later.

So sure and confident in my new plan, I was a little overwhelmed when my previous journalism advisor offered me a modified minor from the E.W. Scripps School of Journalism. Wasn’t that what I had wanted to secure last fall, but the ugly reality of aligning credits just didn’t seem to work? Wasn’t part of my trepidation in absolving my DARS of journalism dropping the Scripps name – the brand, the title, that I had so relished as a senior in high school?

Sighing with a breath of measurable relief and gratitude, I sent a silent thank you out into the world. Thank you for the best of both worlds, I said. Thank you for constantly surprising and uprooting my plan.

Because a year ago, I might not have been overwhelmed with such joy at the thought of expediting a revised copy of my B.S.S. application to be reviewed (at the end of this month!!) to reflect this “minor” edition.

Because a year ago, I couldn’t roll with the punches or take life as it comes; I was fighting with the current and drudging upstream every chance I got, instead of swimming with the tide and breathing in and breathing out. 

Now, I make it work. I reflect, I feel the intuition that guides my writing fingers, and I let what will be, be. I try, I sometimes fail, but I always do my best. And I remember to be grateful and positive – because I know the universe will send it all back to me in myriad ways, ways I can’t even begin to fathom in my humble, earthly body.

So, thank you universe. For knowing what I really wanted 12 months in advance. For giving me a second chance, for giving me an opportunity I didn’t know I could find. Thank you for continuing to make my heart sing, and thank you for all the blessings I will receive in the years to come.

Thank you for the peace in my heart and the fluidity of life.

Until next month,

BNB, xo

This post also appears on labellamemoir.tumblr.com