Fight, resist, or heal

Sovereignty for marginalized (often indigenous) peoples. Adapting to climate change. Changing patterns of consumption and production. Challenging property, ownership, and gender norms. Advocating for local food, wholesome food, food symbiotic with sustainability. Writing and relating. Showing and listening. Learning in life and not by the book (or the institution). Being independent in action but dependent on solidarity. Setting a possible example. Being authentic. Reflecting and not gut-reacting. Thinking it through but not waiting for agency.

This is a complicated summary of the passions I have today, right now, this year at this time.

Even in the last 3 years — 3 months, even — I know I’ve shifted my stance on a variety of issues, like adapting to climate change instead of trying to ferociously halt it in its tracks. Including the word listening is more important to me now, now that I’ve actually learned how to listen to people’s stories and seen (or not seen) empathy in listening well. Reflecting and not gut-reacting is another trial-and-tried lesson learned, too.

Shifted, like a kaleidoscope. These newly articulated passions will likely shift again, with more time, more experience, and more ‘I didn’t know’s along the way.

Each view in a kaleidoscope isn’t inherently wrong, just different. That’s the beauty of discovering who you were meant to be: There’s not one wrong you — but finding the most authentic you takes time to shift all of the pieces in the right viewing field.

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There’s fighting, there’s resistance, and there’s healing.

I’ve thought a lot about my work, my energy, and what my personality speaks to since the tumultuous start of this year.

I can see myself in a variety of platforms, taking a variety of positions. That’s what’s confusing. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Well, which scenario are we talking here?

I could fight. Fight legal battles as polluters rock our warming world. Fight for rights. For for justice. For getting attention. For making my views heard. For telling other people are wrong. For making a scene, making a point.

I could resist. Resist buying corporate. Resist the temptations of traditional job security and the safety net of graduate school. Resist the norms and make my own path. Resist stereotypes. Resist silently, or loudly. Resist alone, or with others.

I could heal. Heal and listen. Heal and help, wholeheartedly. Heal and make something for someone in need. Heal and nourish. Heal and practice. Heal, mindfully and intentionally. Heal, without causing harm. Heal for myself, heal for others.

Perhaps I will combine these pathways, string them along in my own kaleidoscope of dreams. But I imagine I’ll choose one of these paths, more-so than the others.

Who am I? What does my energy speak to? How will I best serve the world, my world, and myself?


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